we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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