K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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