Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This baby is an asshole
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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