just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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