dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Randomize
