i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
