He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
