please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
