I feel like I'm in dance class right now
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
