5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
