"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
