My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
