..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
