So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think people are normalizing furries
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
