Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had sex on a roof
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize