I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
