Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize