Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
