we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
