Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
