Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize