she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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