Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
