she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
