go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
