Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
