its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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