I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
