omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
