i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
third nipple confirmed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
