what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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