How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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