i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ttyl tear gas
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
