so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
