I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
