he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
