You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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