I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
