wakey wakey hands off snakey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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