What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
