toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
