Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
