I am puke
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
