Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
