I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
