just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You did what with his pubic hair?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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