Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
