Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just had sex bonerless
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
