hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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