I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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