Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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