and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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