her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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