It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
