Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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