she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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