So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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