we have officially lost it.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
