i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
