Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
