if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize