I just saw a hot homeless man
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
