you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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